Mummy – Day 12- Matt Hsu

Today I write to you from work on my lunch break. I’ve been thinking about Matt Hsu’s prompt: “a mummified little man inside a chocolate wrapper” all morning while working and here’s what I’ve got.


My sister once told me that Hans Christian Anderson tales were history books. I’ve always thought she was an idiot untill today. While walking through a London park I saw a tiny tent made of chocolate wrappers. I looked inside and found what I thought was a little mummy man toy. But when I picked it up it smelt and the tiny bandages began to disintergrate. I looked at the tomb’s inscription which read Here Lies Thumbelina. Then over the top in tiny red graffiti read Bigot! Toad Hater! 



Hair – Day 11 – Georgia Wellington

Peladophobia – Fear of bald people. (Georgia Wellington)

8th December 2013

I’ve managed to avoid them till now. My wife and family all have lovely hair. Shopping is a hassle, but mostly I’ve learnt to avoid the shortness of breath, dry mouth, nausea and dread. Peladophobia they call it: a fear of bald people.

I’d never met Dad. All I knew was that he went mad and disappeared one day when I was little. I saw a picture of him in the newspaper the other day (Mad Wig Man brings Christmas Cheer). I felt shaky. My stomach tied in knots like the hair stuck in the shower plughole. Everything was falling into place as his shiny scalp gleamed up at me. My mum used to say I took after her, but for two things I got from dad. Now I know what they are: hereditary baldness and peladophobia.


Paint – Day 10 – Lost Movements

Tonight I was invited to write at Lost Movements, an art event in West End. We had an hour or so to write a story based on the inspiration from other artists in the space. I singled out the awesome people who were having their bodies painted by artists. This is the result.

Dear Diary,

Jen came to school today with no paint. She just doesn’t give one single fuck. One of the male teachers even told her to cover up.

She said we’ve been covering ourselves up for hundreds of years. She said it was a statement, time to make a change. Apparently hundreds of years ago it was cool to be orange, and they had this thing called a tan.

Jen didn’t want people to know how rich she was by the quality of her paint or the tint of her contacts. She’s never even been under the knife.

She got called ugly and slut by Tyson, but I thought she looked beautiful. It was scary really seeing someone. It felt so private. No contacts, no paint, just her and her uniform.  I felt angry for her. Could I interject?

I’ve always been into the paint. I go to all the best designers. Sometimes I even fork out for a real live artist if there’s a special occasion.

I’ve been painted as a Picasso, the universe, pixels, even the Mona Lisa. The other girls at school look up to me. We go paint shopping together and even do surgery days. I thought it was a channel for self expression. How would people know I was unique and artsy if I wasn’t painted? But after seeing Jen today I think it may be more of a mask. Camouflage even.

I looked around at my friends. They were all looking at Jen like an embarrassing parent at a party. I stood up and crossed the courtyard. I got my water bottle out of my bag, poured it all over my face, and began to scrub with my jumper.

Tyson opened his mouth.

“What?” I snapped. “Never seen a girl’s skin before?”

I think Jen and I are friends now.



Surprise Award Attack!

Last night I was watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks when a tweet came through saying I’d won an award at the 2013 Express Media Awards for my 24 Hour Writing Challenge. I still have no idea how that happened but I’m very chuffed! In fact I had to scroll through the live feed to find out what I’d won (Most innovative new project or work by young person or young people). I am now left feeling sheepish, as I didn’t know the Awards were on, and grateful that the National Young Writers Fest let me do that crazy challenge as a legit event!

Congratulations to all the other winners- particularly Geoff Orton who ran the Younger Young Writer’s Program and came to visit me (and give me ginger bread men) during the challenge. Be sure to check it out next year AND his other project

If you are a young writer you probably already know but check out and their awesome publication!

If you made it to the end of this post here is a bonus David Mitchell pic!

david mitchell important

Snow – Day 9 – Liam Lowry

Today’s entry idea is from Liam Lowry (first idea from America!) who gave me simply “Magic Snow” 


I was born today. I got made by a boy called Liam. I wish he gave me legs. It’s hard jumping around on a big ball. I don’t like the nose he gave me much either. I would have preferred something more inventive than a carrot. But he’s a nice boy. Last winter I was made in a park and an anti-snowman group threw salt on me. I’ve never been accepted by a human before.

Liam feeds me chocolate and only drinks juice when I’m around (water is so cannibal!). He even gave me this diary to write in. I taught him about precipitation and snow-reincarnation. Tomorrow he said we could make a snow dog. I’ve always wanted a dog!

-Snowy (humans aren’t too inventive with names either)

Chicken #8 – Day 8 – Jason Engel

Jason Engel messaged the page with this a while ago:

“A chicken crosses the road, chickens friend wants to know why, WHYYYYY!?!?”

Well Chicken #8 is hopefully about to explain it all for you Jason.

Dear diary,

This will be my last diary entry before the uprising.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been crossing roads. We’re brought up that way. None of the other chickens ever questioned it until last month. I still remember coming back from my shift on the road. Chicken #6 looked at me and asked the question I’d been waiting for: “why?” It was then I knew we had a chance.

3 years ago I met Irish Bloke #4 on my break and he started to speak to me. We sat together every break after that. Eventually I picked up some human language and he told me that there was another world out there. A world which isn’t dictated by dads in sandals and the insides of Christmas crackers. Though I didn’t believe him, it was a nice thought.

But when Chicken #6 asked why we crossed the road, I realised we had to try. What if we all refused to walk across the road?

We’ve spent weeks convincing the other chickens and today is the day. I hope there is another world. I hope we are not kept alive only by the imaginations of idiots in paper Christmas crowns.


Chicken #8

PS. Irish Bloke #4 if you’re reading this, I’m glad you found my Diary. I’m sorry you couldn’t convince all the Blokes to walk off the job. Thank you for giving me hope.

Giant & Rupert – Day 7 – Sue Wright

I think we could all guess where this was going when I drew “A small dog called Rupert befriends a Giant” from Sue Wright. 


Giant find friend. Friend is dog. Giant call him Rupert. Giant walk Rupert. Rupert get tired after two giant steps so Giant carry him.

Others laugh and point. They not believing my threats anymore. They chase us. Giant drop Rupert. Giant lose Rupert. Giant start to cry. Others catch up. Giant run. Giant make it to cave. Giant’s wailing cause rock fall. Others leave.

Giant has no friends. Giant go to bed. Not even quilt make Giant feel better.

When Giant wake up, Rupert is there. Rupert turn out to be expert at hiding and scavenging. Rupert has stolen bone collection from others.

Now when Rupert and Giant go walking. Others cower. They think Giant is magic who can move rocks, summon bones and bring dogs back from dead.



A girl needs shoes- Day 6 – Cheryl Lowry

Today’s challenge: Twitter Tuesday (Story under 140 characters) + Diary December (must be a diary entry or based off someones diary entry) + Cheryl Lowry’s prompt “A tango dancer finds herself in Buenos Aries without her favourite 9cm stilettos.” 

Buenos Aries Day 1: I forgot my stilettos. The audience stared. A bittersweet realisation: magic shoes were real, my tango talent wasn’t.

Life Log – Day 5 – Alita Pashley

Today’s idea was from Alita Pashley who gave me this:

“Sticky-outty hair because too much Harry Potter (and wine) happened last night. Now I have homicidal feelings towards some less-than-desirable colleagues who are not letting me buy coffee.
Please include magical realism.
(34 words! BAM!)”

1am.      Wine. Shouting. Argument over Horcruxes. Uncontrollable laughter.

2am.      Carried home by Snape. He’s surprisingly nice. Room has turned into dodgy                            spinning fete ride.

8am.      Wake up late. Nargles have taken all my matching socks.

9am.      Get to work. Meeting. Homicidal feelings toward colleagues who won’t let me buy                  coffee.

10am.    Communal stale biscuits tell me I have to eat them. Regret. Can I sleep with eyes                  open?

11am.    No.

12pm.   Colleagues argue over name of steps in new marketing strategy. ‘Planks’ or                             ‘platforms’? Kill me now.

1pm.      Meeting over. Lunch commencing. Winning!

2pm.      Toilet break. Mirror points out I’m losing. Seem to have modelled my hair on                          Cameron Diaz in ‘Something about Mary’.

3pm.      Okay need to do actual work. Who is texting me? Shut up phone, I am being                          productive!

4pm.      Another text. Must be a sign. Trying to concentrate on work today is futile. Check                phone, it’s Snape!

5pm.      See you later suckers. This woman has a date to get ready for.

6pm.      Make up tricked me. Snape is now dating the Joker. What is his real name?

7pm.      He’s at the door. I can’t just call him Snape.

8pm.      Why haven’t I asked his real name yet? I can’t go back.

9pm.      Snape is a lot hotter without wig.

10pm.   Sweat gods, please have mercy on me and my white top.

11pm.   Snape went for hug. I went for kiss. Disaster.

12am.    Home again. Master Google laughs at me and tells me I ballsed it up. At least I                        won’t have to admit I don’t know his name.

Giant -Day 4- Erin Michelle

First day of ‘Diary December’ so I’m keeping it simple. Today’s idea brought to you by Erin Michelle: “A quilt made of materials not normally associated with quilts.”


Giant make quilt for cave today out of woven tree branches, cow skins, hay and flattened human tin wheelie boxes. Giant get called soft by others. Giant doesn’t care. Giant’s cave is fabulous. Also, giant tell others that next time it will be made from their skin.



Downloaders – Day 3 – Brett Pemberton

So today I got my dad to pull a story out of the pot, when he pulled out:
“In 2153, a private detective and his robot sidekick are swept up in a conspiracy that threatens the very fabric of the universe.”

I freaked out. But eventually I got to this…

“When was The Princess Bride released?” Rob asks.

“I said I knew virtual experiences,” Pemberton says, “not classic old films! Give me a break. I’m all human, not a bloody downloader like you. I still like manual Google. I’m old school like that.”

“Released 1987. You’re a private detective Pemberton, you could do with a memory implant. Get with the times,” Rob teases. “Oh, I’ve finished buffering. Network Leaks has an update. They’ve cracked the science database. I’m gonna be a genius!”

“I told you,” says Pemberton, “don’t stream their updates, they could be dangerous!”

“They’ve been useless so far,” Rob snorts. “Anyway, how else are we supposed to keep tabs on them?”

Rob’s voice cuts out. White noise and static fill the auditorium. The lights go up. Pemberton stands on stage.

“This is where Rob’s memory reconstruction hard drive cut out,” he explains looking into the audience. The distinct TEDDY sign floats behind him.

“Most of you know the rest of the story,” Pemberton continues. “The virus took a hold of Rob just like all the downloaders worldwide. His software couldn’t handle the mass of scientific knowledge pulsing through his systems. He was driven mad. Started re-enacting experiments and reciting Pi.”

“I found the one virtual news station still broadcasting. This is when I saw the reports that thousands of infected downloaders were storming the Hadron Collider. I knew I had to stop the stream or they might accidentally create a black hole.”

“I’m sad to say I ripped out Rob’s hardware and loaded it onto my computer. I could track the signal. I found Network Leaks’ headquarters. They must have all been downloaders too and the place was abandoned. I turned off the live stream and the virus ran its course, leaving most infected downloaders too weak to survive.”

“For the last 5 years since, I’ve been campaigning for restrictions on sentient software. But that’s not to say being a downloader doesn’t have its place. We would be no-where without them. I would be nowhere without Rob.  And ironically as I look at the statistics-bot now, this is already the most downloaded TEDDY talk ever” he finishes to the sound of the applause.

Al – Day 2 – Beatrice Tucker

Hazel looked at Al, his smooth almond skin glowed back at her. Her own skin was rough and flaking, oh to be young again.

“…he said I wasn’t even a real nut. That was the last time I saw him. And it’s true I’m just a seed!” Al finished.

“It sounds like you miss him a lot, but perhaps you’ll find your independence now,” Pepita said kindly looking at Hazel for further instruction.

Hazel looked back at her intern, then to Al.

“He’ll come back to you Al. Just be patient,” Hazel said. “Now, that’s the end of the session you can book your next appointment with Chester on your way out.”

Hazel could almost see a do-gooder spiel welling inside Pepita as they watched Al wipe his eyes and leave.

“He needs to be medicated,” Pepita burst out as soon as he’d left. “Al can’t go on with this imaginary friend insulting him. He clearly has deep-seeded issues around nut classification. He needs to be stabilised.”

Hazel sighed, “Why? Is his reality less valid than ours?”


“Look around Pepita, we’re just a bunch of mixed nuts. We’re all going to get eaten one day.”

The inspiration I got for this was “A sad almond can’t find his imaginary friend”

Fellow 24 Hour Writing Veterans

So a while ago I did a podcast with fellow 24 hour writing veteran Simon Groth which you can check out here: (Also can download the podcast on itunes from if:book Australia.

Simon and a bunch of other awesome authors (including Nick Earls and Krissy Kneen!), editors and printers came together with a mission: to create a book in 24 hours. Printed and all!

Each author took a chapter passed it onto an editor and then compiled it into a book and sent it off to the US where they printed one copy and sent a picture back. Crazy right!? Definitely worth checking out Willow Patterns.

Incumbent Triangles – Day 1 – Cinnamon Eacott

So above is me choosing my first idea from the idea TARDIS earlier today and this is the result:

Good afternoon Angle Ministers and Tri-members. I am very proud to represent my school at this education conference. My chosen topic is History, something we all need to remember to see just what we’ve achieved.

Our ancestors traded with coins and paper. A system only low life rebels use now. My great great grandmother probably wouldn’t understand the three part digital codes we call ‘triangles’. She’d just see the glowing symbols that follow us on screens.

Our triangle value is displayed everywhere we go, but back in her day, accounts were private and talking about them was rude. How naive we were. Life is so much easier when you know what others are worth.

They had to navigate different classes, religions and political groups. Luckily we have the triangles to tell us who we are compatible with.

My great great grandmother was born with dreams. I was born with a number. Simple. Easy. Definitive.

But I won’t be defined. I’d like to amend my first statement. My chosen topic is History, something we all need to remember to see just what we have lost.

Lazy Writer Get Back to Work (Cal and Tony)

Last story for the 24 hours- I got the inspiration from Cal Wilson and Tony Johnson

You get to preview all your dreams now. It’s amazing, skip out on all the nightmares. Play your favourites on repeat for a good night’s sleep. But the best thing is, I can use my subconscious to write my fiction for me. I play it over and over and just transcribe it. 

~ Unknown Lucky Writer from the Future.

Final part to the tree inheritance waterfall story- Laine and Matt

As Matthew thought about all these stories he felt something brush his arm. The sprout which was closed moments before, had now opened. He looked at it, it was just like all the other stories in the book but this one was new and green it read. It started ‘Perhaps it happened at cocktail night…’ Matthew remembered a line, a line these trees must have written. They were tall, willowy and very quiet; always writing, always listening. They never left their posts. It all made sense. They seemed to record what they see and what they sense is in your imagination. Matthew decided to take cuttings off the trees to protect them from extinction and then displayed the collection as historical artifacts.

That didn’t wrap up in the neat tie it all together way that I thought would magically happen but who wants to build a tree with story leaves with me? Matt Hsu!? Madelaine Spina? Practical way to publish right?

One of those bosses- Lou LaBelle

I got “segway and segue” from the great Lou!

Jason is one of those bosses. He rides a segway around the design office just so he can make the joke ‘segue from the segway.’ He makes it every day. He has his own signature handshake which no-one has ever bothered to learn and he loves the words platform and teams. Despite assumptions however, he is very popular when he gets home. The boss act is simply because he feels he already has enough friends to be getting on with.

And Finally I can wrap up the Chinese Zodiac Thread

  • 21:00 – 22:59: 亥 Pig before 11 Done
  • 23:00 – 00:59: 子 Rat – before 1 Done.
  • 01:00 – 02:59: 丑 Ox – Before 3 Done
  • 03:00 – 04:59: 寅 Tiger – Before 5 Done
  • 05:00 – 06:59: 卯 Rabbit – before 7 Done
  • 07:00 – 08:59: 辰 Dragon – Before 9 Done
  • 09:00 – 10:59: 巳 Snake – Before 11 Done
  • 11:00 – 12:59: 午 Horse – Before 1pm Done
  • 13:00 – 14:59: 未 Goat – Before 3 Done
  • 15:00 – 16:59: 申 Monkey – Before 5 Done
  • 17:00 – 18:59: 酉 Rooster – Before 7 Done
  • 19:00 – 20:59: 戌 Dog – before 9 Done

Dogipede Boy – Nik Wood

I simply got ‘lots of legs’ for this one.

I’m 6. I remember adults looking at me in pity and amusement. I’ve attached a lot of fake legs to my stuffed dog toy. He looks like some sort of toy story nightmare. I call him Dogipede (I think it’s sweet) the others try to look enthusiastic. This look has followed me well into adulthood. It’s the same look people get when I tell them I’m going on a date.

Earth For Sale

So From Tanwyn I got: “Your body is a composite of organisms. They have all become sentient, including the bacteria, and each is vying for total control.”

I always saw and felt the world differently. I thought I was the only one. When I was 10 I broke 4 ribs and an arm and didn’t even register it. I had to learn fear, it didn’t come instinctually.

When the Zombie apocalypse came, it wasn’t blood and brains, it was a sensation and I wasn’t surprised. You couldn’t see it and it certainly didn’t make sufferers groan. They dubbed sufferers zombies because most would just shut down and simple stare into space until they starved. The virus took over the organisms in the body and was highly contagious. Each becoming sentient, including bacteria and set about war for total control over their host. The pain it caused sufferers would render them useless doomed to live out the pain in isolation, finding it impossible to even articulate. We were sent notifications that it had been sent to earth to purge, so a new species could take over.

But I felt no pain, and I found other survivors. Other people like me. I wasn’t alone after all. The virus was very slow on us. So slow in fact, that we found a cure. We readied ourselves for battle with whoever was to take over but they never came. We were notified that the intergalactic financial crisis had hit and earth was essentially now worthless.

Hour 21!

I just did the most epic interpretive dance and it didn’t record it. Now there is a lady from the festival about to interview me so I’m gonna have to skip this hours update. Next one I promise will be good.

City Jets – Darby

A weirdly serious one, not what I was aiming for but it’s too late now I can’t go back- it’s written now. And here is it. Plus- it gets in my zodiac thread. Anyone picking it up yet? Oh and the trigger was from Darby Laughren “you could write about a series of peoples’ encounters with those (annoying) jets that are around during Riverfire”

I work shifts in the Mater Hospital. I used to live out on a Farm near Emerald, but now instead of a Rooster each morning, I wake up to the sound of Jets practicing for Riverfire. I hate Riverfire. Apart from the influx of stupid injured drunk people we get at the hospital, it embodies everything I find stressful; big loud crowds of strangers. I like to deal with people one at a time, patients are good like that. You can’t treat two at exactly the same time. I wouldn’t work anywhere else, but I fear living in the city, I am doomed to ignorant city people patronising me as if their lifestyle is worth more. 


Don’t question the magic of the interweb – Cinnamon Eacott

So here is the trigger I go: “All the worlds inanimate objects suddenly develop personalities and now the human population must learn to deal with it.” I think a. went off topic and b. didn’t actually explain what has happened so only makes sense with introduction but its 3.5 hours to go. I’ve been awake 30 something hours and don’t particularly care anymore. Such a maverick! Can’t stop me!

The day it happened most object were harmless. Humans like objects, humans have been kind to objects for many years, we even make lots of them. But the wifi modems rose up against the humans, creating a 1 ft tall plastic coated army that blocked out all internet. For too long had the humans bashed, plugged unplugged and cursed at these small miracle devices who so kindly brought a kind electronic magic land into their houses and their workplaces.   


So 58 mins ago Joe gave me this absolute gem: An super intelligent bear must fight its way out of a gulag in an alternate history of 1945 Russia. Here is what I came up with:

1945. Russia. You were separated from your mother at birth. You lived your cubhood as a slave being taught to be a dancing bear. As you grew older you were sold to the Gulag who performed scientific experiments on you to see if they could raise an bear army. Only you survived. You wake up in a test room, finally the without sedation for one of the first times in your life. You know exactly what to do with this new energy: revenge.

You look down at your bionic arm. It is 10:27pm most of the camp will be asleep. You crush the padlock on the door with your hairy metal bear fist. You pad softly along the corridor and come to a guard.

‘Bear!’ he shouts, but in Russian.

‘Barely,’ you reply, but in Bear.

Your hilarious action quips will be lost on this crowd. You sigh as you break the guard’s neck like rabbit ready to be slung over a horse. He slumps to the ground and you enter the dormitory easily.

You snap, crunch, tear and shred everyone who comes into your path coming up with classic lines such as ‘Can’t handle the bare truth?’

When you get to the other side of the room you splinter the wooden door and make a break for it over the wall. You could stay and have a little more fun, but you have better plans. You’ve never had any friends before why not start now? They wanted a bear army? They’re going to get it alright.

The Closet with you – Alex Donald

You and me in the closet. My older sister had told me it’s what you do with boys at parties, and now you were just inches away from me in the closet. I breathed deeply and then immediately regretted it, inhaling a large amount of loose fur from my nan’s fur coat. I was nervous, what happened in the closet?

After what seemed like far too long I realised that the closet didn’t have the answers, I was meant to know what happened next and I didn’t. Anticipation turned into fear and embarrassment. Luckily the next thing you said was, ‘You read that book Narnia then? I got all the videos too.’  

Virgin Condom Oscar Jonsson.

When Jenny went down to do a routine quality check on the factory floor she found that one of the machines had malfunctioned and each condom it produced looked exactly like the Virgin Mary. It became an office joke that turned into a niche underground market, that turned into a global best seller, but only a brave few ever admit to buying them.

Seahorse Men’s Liberation Mag- Oscar Again

A Short Essay on Gender equality the Male Perspective.

After seeing  Oscar Jonsson’s run at Hand to the Queen end last week, it became clear that Seahorse kind is still not ready for a male in a position of power. It’s sad to admit but I fear that the veins of matriarchy run to deep in our society.

One of the burning topics I hear around the sea anemone at lunch is our right to decide on safe abortion. Unfortunately most of the traditional matriarch doesn’t see our bodies as our right. In fact I think this issue will be lost amongst the sea weed, particularly after outspoken feminist Therese Albert was elected as minister for horsemen. Currently Seamonkeys have a more advanced gender political system than us.

Nevertheless I hold out hope, and dream someday to see a King on the throne.

Celeb Stalker – Oscar Jonsson

I can feel my knees turning to jelly and mind seeping out my ears. I always get this feeling when I am star struck. And it looks like Johnny Depp no less. This is a big one for my books. Not that I have a book, I just happen to like hanging out at LA Airport. I like the atmosphere, and what celeb doesn’t love a good dedicated fan? I walk up to him on the two wobbling pillars I usually call my legs. He is asleep. Then I spot it. It’s awful, he got a goatee? Must be for a role. Still I can’t bring myself any closer, I hate goatees. Why have so many of the stars that live around here suddenly got them I wonder?


Part 3 of my serial story. Probably one more to go.

Matthew stared at the second less than impressive tree in as many days. This time just a stump with a new sprout. It didn’t explain anything. He sat down on the stump and thumbed through the pages of his father’s journal. Flicking past leaf after leaf, each covered in spindly lettering spelling out stories from all across the world. This must have been one of the trees the storytellers had got their leaves from. Perhaps all the storytellers had been wiped out on cocktail night. Matthew knew the story well, his father had constantly reminded him of his role as a scientist during the water restricted years.   

The introverted car – as suggested by the lovely Tom Heathwood!

How embarrassing thought the Micra. She didn’t know why her owner took her to these car networking events. They were nearly every night in city about 5:30 on the highway. She never got any better at them. The sound of beeping and warmth of headlight flashing washed over the little Micra’s dusty exterior. Why hadn’t she been washed? It was so embarrassing. Suddenly a Pajero cut in front of her. This was her worst nightmare. Beeeeep! Being forced to sound the long angry horn was Micra’s worst nightmare. She hated confrontation. But to her surprise a fiat close by sounded the soft toot toot of approval. For the first time she felt included.

Mothality TV – Jarred

Day 6 on Celebrity Moth Survivor. Fashionista Kevin has been on hunger strike for 48 hours with only Target and Jay Jay’s coats on offer. 

Mothality is now a word. Mash all the things. With all the other things! 

Run rexes run- Maddy Sbeghen and The Younger Young Writers

So after a visit from the younger young writers fest group I have this: I had to change dragon because I’d already had one, so Incorporated Maddy’s Dino tweet into the mix. 

Dino stared down its nose at me in a disapproving condescending manner. He did this every morning during our jog.

‘A stegosaurus could hunt you down!’ he shouted. His voice was horse (intentional typo! I promise) from all his stupid quips and his stupid little arms flailed about as he sped along.

That was it. We would endure this no more, I was leading a rebellion. No longer would he be the fastest rex. No longer would he oppress the good rexes of the T-Run Jogging group.

I forged ahead, we were neck and neck. I saw my break but ironically failed to see an oncoming stegosaurus. We collided.  No one ever knew of my heroic attempts thwart the regime instead they call me ‘T-klutz.’ 

21st to remember- Darby Laughren and Luxmy Chandran

Yeah I stole your name Darby sorry I’m doing it to a lot of people. Oh my god I kid you not – a bikie just went past my window revving all the way!

He looked like the famous Bikie leader Buzz of the Bikie Bandits, it wasn’t much to work with but he’d take it. On his 21st birthday Darby made the most of it, and had bikie themed party. He didn’t have many parties so he went all out, he thought it was very convincing. Unfortunately so did the Hades Saints who attempted assassinate who they thought to be Buzz.  Luckily the police also had a tip off about the party and saved Darby’s life. Unluckily, they arrested him for weapon development.

Silly half story

Here lays Freya, on the straight and narrow till junky Michael got her onto the hard stuff & she overdosed on caffeine.

Under 24 words. My my. 


5/10/2013 international reporter Lucy Sweeney, Germany.

Raving Lunatics Dance the House Down.

Some say you could hear it from the other side of town, others say their arrhythmic moves registered on the Richter scale. This was the 43rd annual International Society of Bad Dancers Rave.

Already known to be one of the most dangerous international events, injuring thousands every year, this was to be the most disastrous year yet.

Witnesses say they saw moves never tried before, such as slithering snakes and the where’s wally waltz. But when it came to the freestyle event, the jumping, jiving and sporadic movements of the crowd created a landslide. Rocks tumbled down and now cover the entire venue.

No-one is said to be seriously injured however the rescue team continues to work around the clock to free the dancers who have continued to rave in a mark of unity.

The Magician Blacklist – Heidi White

Prompt was ‘failed magician’.

Alexandria the Amazing horrified her audience

When she was arrested on stage for fraudulence

Eddie the Excellent was less than entrancing

His assistant was shot with an arrow while dancing

Fabio the fascinating freaked out his assistants

Their hair ablaze he continued the show with persistence

So assistants beware, don’t be a sucker

A magician can be a pretty dodgy… fellow.

I don’t even know.

So I got “The owl and the pussycat didn’t go to sea” from Lou LaBelle + Catherine Grainger sent in ‘Beach bitches’. A wave of tired just hit me and this is the result. If this is hour 9 I dread to imagine hour 20… Be ready for weirdness. At least I’ve included Father Ted references.

Owl: It’s a nice day. Go on, go on, go on.

Pussycat: I’m not going to the seaside.

Owl: Ah go on.

Pussycat: It’s not because I’m a cat and hate water. It’s not because the sand gets on my whiskers. It’s not even because the public transport is a nightmare with that new rabbit announcer. It’s that stupid gang.

Owl: Bloody beach bitches.

Just a letter- Cinnamon Eacott

Part 2


If you found this letter then you have done everything I wanted you to, and I’m very proud of you son. I’m sorry I had to leave when you were little. I hope this key has kept you busy long into your twenties at least. But most importantly I hope this made you travel; meet people you never would have met, eat food you’d never tasted, see things you’ve never seen.



P.S. Sorry it’s just a letter mate. There’s no pot of gold… army doesn’t pay enough.