BioniBear

So 58 mins ago Joe gave me this absolute gem: An super intelligent bear must fight its way out of a gulag in an alternate history of 1945 Russia. Here is what I came up with:

1945. Russia. You were separated from your mother at birth. You lived your cubhood as a slave being taught to be a dancing bear. As you grew older you were sold to the Gulag who performed scientific experiments on you to see if they could raise an bear army. Only you survived. You wake up in a test room, finally the without sedation for one of the first times in your life. You know exactly what to do with this new energy: revenge.

You look down at your bionic arm. It is 10:27pm most of the camp will be asleep. You crush the padlock on the door with your hairy metal bear fist. You pad softly along the corridor and come to a guard.

‘Bear!’ he shouts, but in Russian.

‘Barely,’ you reply, but in Bear.

Your hilarious action quips will be lost on this crowd. You sigh as you break the guard’s neck like rabbit ready to be slung over a horse. He slumps to the ground and you enter the dormitory easily.

You snap, crunch, tear and shred everyone who comes into your path coming up with classic lines such as ‘Can’t handle the bare truth?’

When you get to the other side of the room you splinter the wooden door and make a break for it over the wall. You could stay and have a little more fun, but you have better plans. You’ve never had any friends before why not start now? They wanted a bear army? They’re going to get it alright.

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