I got tweeted this photo. So I wrote the story behind the story. That headline is the remnants of something bigger.
Two decks of headline go right here pls pls pls
By TED THE PAGE DESIGNER
CAPITAL letters! O’ journalist until your magnificent masterpiece is dropped in, I have written my own story.
Once upon a time there was a man who looked like a dumpling. He loved to edit people’s lives. “No lunch break now!” he would bark, his saggy sallow skin producing a sheen of oil.
Live-Washing-Commentary was one of his favourite past times. This is where an opponent enters the arena (kitchen) and he gives a running commentary on how bad they are at washing up. Bonus points if he can work in a metaphorical link between their washing ability and job security.
Luckily, whilst Dumpling Man loved to edit lives, he rarely edited any of the words his workers laboured so hard over. He preferred to edit after print when it was too late. One brave soul saw an opportunity to exploit this; he asked the oppressed workers to let off some steam if they wished. He would take the blame for their stories, as Ted the Magnificent was retiring anyway.
All Ted asked for in return was a good leaving cake, not like Derek’s.