Today’s idea: “A man trying to throw himself in front of a car at a pedestrian crossing” from Caitlin Callanan.
First day at a new school is always hard. I’ve learnt to make strategic friends. Pick a big scary kid and you should be safe from bullying.
On the walk to school I struck up conversation with a boy. He told me he was expelled from his last school. Perfect bully-shield candidate I thought. I asked him if he wanted to smoke behind the sheds (this is the type of thing bully-shields like to do). He agreed, saying he liked to live life on the edge and proceeding to jump in front of the oncoming traffic. Lucky he jumped at the exact time we passed a pedestrian crossing. This should have been a give-away that my new ally was a faker: a loner like me. My mistake became clear as we walked into class and he tried to convince me ‘wanker’ was a term of endearment.
I’ve made friends with a bully-magnet.