What Dogs Really Think – Day 336 – Krysten

Got a tweet last night:

The 40 Greatest Dog GIFs Of All Time

Ahhh time to try the walking again. I’m so excited! One day you might even be good enough to do one by yourself. Hurry up, strap onto me so you don’t get lost.

Keep up! Today I am going to pull extra hard, just to make it that little bit more challenging for you. Hmm, you still don’t want to go fast. I get it, don’t feel down on yourself, I’ve got twice as many legs as you.

Is that kid “woofing” at me? Make him stop, it’s so patronising, he completely doesn’t understand the subtleties of this ancient language. You’re not even stopping him! I’m not allowed to bark at strangers, why should he?

Hey look, a dead pigeon! What a find! Here can you carry it? I have to admit those arm things you have can come in handy.

Fine, don’t take it. You’re always so fussy. You know those tins at home are full of dead things too you know? You can be so frustrating sometimes! That fence you built isn’t high enough you know, I can jump it. I could leave anytime and then you’ll never learn how to walk properly!

What’s that you’re doing? Ah you’ve found a lovely stick! Oh you’ve dropped it. Here let me get that for you. Oh you’ve dropped it again. I’ve got it, here you go. I’m sorry I said I’d leave, you wouldn’t make it on your own. I’m here, don’t worry.

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Giant Part 3 – Day 170 – Samantha’s pet literary hate

For “Conflict in May” I’m stepping it up a bit and asking what type of writing/stories people hate and then attempting it myself. Sam told me she hates “My pet redeemed me” stories. I thought about it and the closest I’d got was my “Giant” series where a Giant befriends a dog called Rupert- I’ve decided it’s time for part 3 of the Giant series. I hope we can still be internet friends after this Sam…

Read Part 1 here

And Part 2 here

Diary,

Others still scared of Giant. Giant and Rupert built cave extension by stealing from them. Giant and Rupert feel selfish. No one to appreciate fine bone mosaic.

Rupert suggest we get pet human. Rupert find perfect human in woods. Human is scruffy with beard and cute glass eye covers. Human even come own metal tag on chain.

One day Human brought back other strays. Poor humans have half shaved heads. Some even have metal bits in their face. Giant and Rupert not selfish. Giant and Rupert open doors to all mistreated humans.

Rupert steal human drink from town (hot brown water). Giant find mushrooms in woods for humans to eat. Giant even play music, Giant only knows one note but humans don’t notice. Humans appreciate bone mosaic too.

Love

Giant