My Failures – Day 239 – Fail Revisited

Back in Fears Feb I wrote a story for @DarkMatterzine and her fear of failure. Most people have this fear I think, as do I. In fact that fear has been one of the ordeals of this 365 Day challenge. 

She never used to fail

If she did no one saw

She made sure of it

Now she fails all the time

Pins them up for people to see

Wears them like badges

Markers that she is trying

Trophies from her risk taking

Reminders of lessons learnt



Twitterbots and Lovebirds – Day 238 – Cute Chick wants to Chat

Yesterday I was tweeted this. Usually I’d find this annoying and embarrassing (a bit of an ordeal). But armed with storytelling it’s not so bad actually. 

Dear sadiemeg32111,

I’m sorry we couldn’t chat. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not into spambots. Perhaps in an another life I’m a spambot too and our love is so deep it’s binary. Our 0s and 1s entangle and we’ll travel the internet together spamming. All our spambot friends will say 101010010101000101 (which means sadiemeg32111 and fr3yawr1ter are a beautiful couple). And perhaps our repetitive spam messages will create the beat to our twitterbot love song.

Maybe then, when our accounts are closed down, we just retire to a nice little hidden cache somewhere and continue our love affair for eternity. But for now, sweet sadiemeg3211, we are driven apart by the restraints of society. So lets just be friends, and wait for the next life.



Bound – Day 237 – Indian Ordeal Reprise

When I went India I saw so many men and little boys walking with their arms around each other as they chatted. It made me wonder why in Australia we would be so scared of this, it didn’t threaten anyone’s masculinity in India, why should it here? So I wrote this story:

Two boys

Arm in arm

Became two warriors

Two husbands

Two fathers

Two leaders

And still they walk arm in arm


One day when war was upon them

They led a march to a strange land

Arm in arm


The strangers laughed

And told them they were not men

Because they walked arm in arm

So they challenged the strangers to a duel


And now the strange land is called home

And the mark of a fierce warrior is to march

Arm in arm


Today here’s a little epilogue of the ordeal the warriors put the folk from the strange land through.

Two men

Too proud

Too fearful

Became two prisoners

They pull the cart

Hand in hand

Sweat loosens their grip

Their hands slip

Sharp leather tongues lick their backs

Their hands snap back together

The tongues stop

Bound forever because of their fears

Am I Real? – Day 236 – Aidan

Roger was afraid that he wasn’t real. It seemed there was a possibility he was just an elaborate wind up toy. Sometimes he’d dream that the world was turning into lego. He’d wake up in a panic and only calm down once he’d pinched himself. 

For his 21st birthday his mother took him to the seaside. 

“There’s nothing more real than tasting the salty sea spray,” she barked. 

But when they arrived, the beach was covered in lego. It seemed to be marching in from the sea. Roger was sure this was the end, he was made from plastic, his life was a lie. His chest tightened, though it didn’t matter. Roger wouldn’t need to breath if he was just a toy.

Then Roger felt a piercing pain, he’d never experienced anything like it. His breath returned and his eyes watered. 

He looked down. The culprit was a small piece of lego that he’d stood on. Roger smiled, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. He was definitely real if there was a pain such as this in the world. 

I got sent this link about lego washing up on a beach in England. It made me think how horrible and painful the ordeal of stepping on a bit of lego is. 

I bought it on the internet – Day 234 – Viagra and Steroids

Around half my spam comments are advertising “kamagra oral jelly” or “clomid.” These turn out to be viagra and steroids. I have no knowledge of either of these things so writing this is a bit of an ordeal.

Danny was very susceptible to advertising. When he was 10, his parents threw out the TV because he was stealing their credit cards and ordering everything off the infomercials.

Now that he lived by himself he rarely went outside, even his groceries were a set order. But one day a giant billboard was erected right outside Danny’s house. It was an advert for broadband.

The next day Danny had a router and a computer. This was the start of his downward spiral. Soon his house was packed with oral viagra jelly and steroids.

One day, the delivery man saw him trying to fit an extra box of dildos on a tower of unopened packages and decided to help him. Together they smashed up his computer.

Danny invited him to have tea the next day. The delivery man was an artist, mainly interested in installations but he’d never gotten into a gallery. 

Danny and the delivery man are now artists, most famous for their installation “internet” a smashed computer surrounded by towering dildo sculptures covered in pills.

Vly – Day 233 – Collaboration with Spambots

After yesterday’s post, I decided to go through the spam folder of my site. Well, it was a treat. Over the next few days I’m going to be doing a little mini series of stories on spam, ads and trollers. One of the most bizarre spam comments was this:

But it never did daunt Kahne. Your puppy used insert gone besides a fabulous placed outdoor patio coupled with shaken there are many undeniable fact this individual rarely ever positioned as well as finally with Bristol. Your puppy overpowered all of the last thing actions coupled with caught a fabulous distinctive wow an area in which engaged Mastery Vly understand Kyle Busch.

For my next act I will try to make this into a story. 

Vly has damaged my brain. Sometimes it is hard to make words that mean what I am thinking. When I was a Vly addict I let so many people enter my head. They mixed up the words. I look at the page. The writing wouldn’t make sense to any individual. I try again.

Kahne stood on his fabulously placed outdoor patio, no doubt paid for by Vly. He looked shaken, but certainly not daunted. He must have been used to seeing users like me. I felt smug that I was positioned to finally show him something with a distinctive wow. My puppy trotted beside me. He’d got hold of a Vly insert, but it works different on dog. Instead of mind sharing, it engaged a mastery of mind control. Kahne tried to engage my mind but it was too late, my puppy overpowered his actions. As Kahne struggled to stop trotting on all fours like puppy, I felt he finally understood what it was like for addicts, for me. 

~Kyle Busch

I read the new words back. Better. I send it to the editor of Vly Support Weekly. I hope he’ll tell my words well.