There is no escape.
They cling to friends and family.
Small and inconspicuous.
Lined up in army-like rows.
Staying close to the chest.
Right by the heart.
They seal you in.
Fiddly and frustrating.
I cannot escape buttons.
‘The fear of buttons’ donated by Kait Moncrieff.
Just a short confession today. One of my deep fears for your entertainment:
70% of the earth is covered in it; a whole other world. Full of mysterious under water waterfalls and unidentified creatures. It could be full of beauty and wonder but like most humans, I am terrified of what I don’t understand. The beach is a terrifying gateway and the tide a potential kidnapper.
Stacey admitted her fear of spiders to me over twitter yesterday. Something we share. I am so scared of spiders that daily tasks like walking through this path become terrifying ordeals with bizarre bowing rituals in order to avoid being webbed.
As most good arachnophobes would know, once you see a spider- it’s particularly important you continue to stare at it. Because the only thing worse than seeing a spider, is not seeing it. So I ran with the idea and came up with this:
Quick! Don’t look away. It might move.
This is fun, a staring competition.
Okay get the traditional weapons.
Oh it’s coming closer. Bring it buddy, you’re going down. I was born to stare.
Please don’t move as I put the glass down.
What’s this crazy forcefield?
Okay, glass bit is over. Just slide the postcard in gently. Don’t let a leg out.
Hey a gap! I can get a leg out!
Ew! It’s escaping.
Ouch my leg!
Alright buddy, off to the garden. Where you belong.
Hey, I can’t leave now. What happens at the end of Game of Thrones?
I’m scared. I guess I don’t need this glass. Just throw the whole thing into the bush.
Wow, what a sore loser. I have 8 eyes, I was always going to win.
I got a tweet from @DarkMatterzine today about fear of failure. Well you and me both Dark Matter. Here’s my story:
The sky would shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. The grass would catch alight and the oceans would boil. A giant sign would pop up over my head saying ‘FAILURE’, and there would be a daily laughing ceremony with me as the main attraction. That’s how I saw it, in my head.
But when it really happened, when I inevitably failed, something much worse occurred. No-one blinked an eye. Everyone just kept going about their business, leaving me to fester in my own thoughts.
I would have to battle myself. Silence the voice that tells me it’s time to give up. The voice that tells me I am nothing. It was loud and persistent, but I practiced ignoring it every day and now it’s just white noise again.